What Came Next: Books and Therapy
The Breaking Point
After ten years together, Sophie* had to make the hardest decision of her life: leave the flat they owned together or risk not surviving. What started as a push or a slap had escalated into life-threatening violence that left visible marks and injuries.
The man she'd trusted had a history she'd ignored early on. Court papers from his previous relationship told a story of violence, but he'd denied it, and she'd believed him. Now she was living that same nightmare.
When she finally left, the harassment continued at work - threatening phone calls filled with abuse - while she tried to maintain composure in an open-plan corporate office where all calls were recorded.
He sabotaged the sale of their property, and it took three years to finally sell the flat. During this time, he called her solicitor multiple times daily, landing her with a massive legal bill. He even turned off her heating and hot water, removed the bathroom light bulb, forcing her to shower in cold darkness.
What Came Next: The Long Road to Recovery
The trauma left deep scars. She isolated herself, pushed people away, carried shame and misplaced guilt from events spanning her twenties and thirties. The suicidal urges felt inescapable - though hard to comprehend now, at the time she couldn't see a way forward.
The Turning Point
One day in Waterstones, she picked up a book that would change everything: "Just About Coping" by Dr. Natalie Cawley - a collection of stories from a therapist's chair, including Dr. Cawley's own admissions and struggles. She saw herself in those pages and took a brave step - reaching out to Dr. Cawley directly to begin her healing journey.
The Tools That Transformed Her Life
Over just one year of intense therapy, the progress has been "magical." Working to overcome the overthinking that kept her trapped in past events, together, her and her therapist implemented "habit stacking" - three positive things each morning, three each night. This simple practice worked wonders.
She also began daily journaling using the Calm app - nothing elaborate, just a few lines each day to anchor herself in the present.
Reading "Addicted to Anxiety" by Owen O'Kane, explained in simple terms how trauma keeps the body in constant fight-or-flight mode until you learn to welcome and work with those feelings rather than against them
Her healing journey also led to action. She signed up for Everymind at Work and achieved a mental health qualification - turning her pain into purpose, using her experience to help others recognise and respond to mental health struggles in the workplace.
The irony wasn't lost on her: she'd worked alongside a colleague, Jen*, for years, neither knowing the other was experiencing domestic violence. It reinforced a crucial truth - this can happen to anyone. It doesn't discriminate.
The Silver Lining
Through the darkness, she discovered her "non-negotiables" - clear boundaries for relationships and friendships that she'll never compromise again. She suspects his violence continues, but she's completely out of it. And that relief, that safety, that peace - it's everything.
*names changed for anonymity